Motherhood in your 30s and 40s… It’s different in ways I’ve never expected. Now in my 40s, It feels quieter, deeper.

When I first became a mum, everything was loud.

The cries, the opinions, the endless stream of advice (unsolicited ones especially)
And inside? Even louder. The pressure to be perfect. The constant self doubt that I could be wrong. I wasn’t doing enough. The silent weight of postpartum emotions I didn’t fully understand. 

I remembered clinging to baby books, blog posts, anything I could find online – searching for the playbook with the “right” way to do things.

I wanted to be a “good” mum. I wanted to get it all right.
But what I really needed… was to trust myself.

Now, seven years and two kids later, somehow perspective changed along the way.

I still don’t have all the answers. I’ve stopped expecting myself to.

In fact, I’ve grown into a quiet kind of knowing.
One that only comes from being in the thick of it—showing up tired, making mistakes, loving hard, and trying again anyway.

The truth is challenges are still there. Now that the kids are older, different challenges.

Just when I thought we’ve passed the hardest years, I’ve come to realise that through different phases and generations of motherhood, all of it is hard.

I’ve stopped chasing perfection, started prioritising peace.

If my daughter wants to dress like a princess to the grocery store? Let her.
If my son decides he wants to be a walking dinosaur? Knock yourself out, buddy!
If the house is messy and we’re all in survival mode for a week? So be it.
I’ve learned to loosen my grip, to breathe a little easier.

More importantly, I’ve started to mother myself too.
To rest when I need to.
To say “not now” without guilt – still a work in progress. I still struggle.
To remember that I matter – not just as a mum, but as me.

Midlife motherhood isn’t about having it all figured out.
It’s about knowing what truly matters and gently letting go of the rest.

So if you’re in this stage too… in the in-between…
Not new at it, not done with it but just somewhere in the middle? I see you.

We’re still becoming.
Still learning to soften and strengthen at the same time.
Still finding beauty in the quiet, and meaning in the mess.

You’re not alone. 

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We’re Pearlyn and Sha — two digital strategists (and moms) who’ve been in this game for over a decade. We help brands connect with modern moms in ways that are strategic and human.

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